She told me, and two other people, Rachel and Lexi. Lexi's mom is EXTREMELY religious and uptight.
Well, Lexi told her mother about the fact that my friend had been sneaking out and drinking and such.
Her mom told my friend's mom everything that my friend had ever said about the situation.
I've told Lexi a good share of secrets, like that I'm an athiest, etc. But I wouldn't be so mad if my mom found out about those kind of things. Its one, or two things, in particular that are stressing me out.
I recently dated a guy that was alot older than me (old enough for him to be a legal adult whereas I'm a minor at 14) and it was long-distance. I always told Lexi about this situation. I also told her about my plans to sneak out and meet him somewhere around Thanksgiving, which is of course next week.
I'M SO FUCKING SCARED TO DEATH. I know as the date approaches that her mom will probably tell my mom about him and his AGE and how I'm going to sneak out and meet him.
My mom will literally murder me, and I know if she finds out I will seriously - no jokes - have to run away.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Search for more eHelps from this member »
I'm sorry but I have to agree with my fellow support leaders, I think Lexi did the right thing by telling her mother. I know at the time, and even now that it seems like a bitchy thing to do, or a betrayal of some kind, but if things had gone wrong then Lexi telling her mum could of had some positive things come out of it.
I guess the best thing to tell you would be that you should tell your mother before someone else does, ie; Lexi or Lexi's mother etc. I know how daunting and frightening it is to tell your parent/s about a relationship, especially after it has been going on for a while. You should sit down with your mum and just come straight out about it, there is no use in making it all airy fairy, she has to know eventually right? Tell her how you feel, like a responsible and mature adult. Tell her that it is long distance, and you never wanted to make her angry or anything, you just didn't know how to tell her. She will understand, she was 14 at one point or another. She will be angry, but you would be too, she is only human. Let her react, whether she yells, cries or just stays quiet, then talk it out with her calmly. Things will work out. It's better for her to find out from her own daughter than another person, I'm sure you've seen on TV how those situations have turned out.
Just trust your mum, she wont try to kill you, she will just be angry.
Maybe you could also talk to Lexi? Ask her not to tell anyone? But I would still encourage you to tell your mother, it's the right thing to do, even though it's so hard.
Good luck! You'll be great (: Have a lovely day.
So right now you need to tell your mom before she hears it from someone else like Lexi's mom. She will be even madder if she did not hear it from her own daughter, yet from someone else's mother, no less. Imagine the embarrassment of standing there while someone's mother tells you about your daughter's relationship with someone you've never heard of. She might never trust you again. So no matter how nice you try to put it, you are probably going to get punished, or at least a scolding. You need to be braced for that. I suggest you tell her when she's in a good mood, and when she's alone, without people about, or else it would just make everything awkward. Tell her in private. It would also make her know that you know this is quite serious and you are here, being responsible, owning up to something that she might not approve of. And while you are at it, try to tell her not to interrupt or something. And tell her why you are doing this. Tell her you know it's wrong(lest she gets angrier) but you can't help it.
Good luck and this is short but I'm in a hurry. If you need someone to talk to you can PM me. =)
I think althought not good on the friend radar, that your friend did the right thing by telling her mother. She may have prevented something bad from happening to your friend who is drinking. How would you feel knowing that you knew about your friend sneaking out to drink, and she ended up getting killed? Wouldn't you feel a little guilty?
I think that the best thing to do is to be upfront with your mom. Tell her that you are an atheist, and whatever else this friend's mom may tell her. She would much rather hear it from you. She may be upset, but she will atleast be a little less disappointed to hear it from you.
As far as this situation with this boy goes, I think it would probably be best if you don't go through with it. It is a very dangerous situation to get yourself into. You could be raped or worse. Given the fact that you are going to try to sneak out means that no on will realize that you are missing for a good period of time. If you want to meet this guy, discuss it with your mother, and maybe have him come to your house, or meet in a public place and have your mom go along. She doesn't have to be there at your side, but atleast where she can find you if need be.
Really, just tell your mom. If you cannot do that, talk to your friends mom and see if she is going to tell, or maybe ask her not to tell your mom.
Glory
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