LiveWire - Emergency Peer Support Help Center

To me it sounds like you have a case of learned helpnessness. With repeated disappointments you have come to believe that nothing will come of what you're doing now, that the future seems bleak and has no hope. This is rather tragic stance to take on life as it will deny you many beautiful, though Seemingly non-existent, opportunities in the future. By assuming a defeatist mentality about the future and love, you will distance yourself from people who could be potentially perfect for you. You will give off an unpleasant, unattractive vibe through your lack of confidence and dismal outlook. People are drawn to optimism and confidence. I am sure you know this and you probably feel that you've practiced this many times and have come up with nothing. It sounds like you are living in the wrong environment right now. If it is an option, get out as soon as possible. You are living in a place that lacks opportunities to meet people you are looking for. How can you expect to meet anyone while living in a place that is filled with unavailable people? I suggest you move out to a city that is full of life, that is bustling and busy with lots of younger, single people. If this is not an option right now, my next suggestion is to join a local group or club that has activities for people your age. By joining one, you will meet people your age who share some interests with you. As far as your loss of interest in drawing, I can understand that. Some people are inspired to draw through their joys in life and some people, like myself, are mostly inspired by their challenges and difficult times in life. However, don't define yourself and your interests in things through other people. What kind of life is this? You are essentially living vicariously as you only feel inspired to partake in a beloved activity only when someone appreciative of it comes along. True success and joy in life comes from believing in oneself. You do Not need the belief of others to accomplish your life goals or follow your dreams; this is Truth. Sure, they might boost your morale but ultimately the only person who will get you anywhere close to what you want is YOU. You control your emotions, you control your actions, you control your life.

Do not dwell on people who have no interest in you. It is wasted emotion. You can try and try again and only disappoint yourself and dig yourself deeper into some pit of despair or felt hopelessness...but what good will that do? Do you not want to rise above this feeling and meet someone who appreciates you? This girl you like...sure she is pretty, smart, etc....but what value is she to your life when she invests no time or interest in to her friendship with you? The person who is worth pursuing and loving is the person who reciprocates the interest and care. That person seems out of sight and perhaps non-existent to you, but they are really out there. But so long as you continue to live within the box you've created for your life and your reality, they will forever be intangible to you. You need to expand the box of life and reality, you need to open a door and let them in or reach out to them. These people cannot know of you until you present yourself to them. Meaningful, long-lasting relationships take time and serious effort to establish and maintain. We live in a society where many things come to us instantly...text messages, fast food, etc. But love does not work this way. It is unsettling to us when we cannot be instantly gratified and when we cannot have what others have and when we cannot have it at the time they receive it. Love has no timeline, nor any designated point at which it is received or given. It is a flower that is, by nature, planted and that blossoms over time with love and care and most importantly by notice of someone who cares for it. Do not lose faith in such a beautiful thing as love. It awaits you but you must be receptive to its existence. Rather than anticipating its arrival, discover more things that you are passionate about. It will be uncomfortable, perhaps boring or seemingly pointless...but it will get you out there. You will learn more about yourself and you will get yourself noticed. You cannot achieve what you seek by hiding away into a corner and folding your arms. Do not give up and do not lose sight of your aspirations and dreams. Continue your drawing...and if it continues to feel boring or lacking inspiration, then perhaps you should take a trip somewhere for inspiration. Present yourself with inspiration...there can't be very much inspiration by surrounding yourself with the same life everyday and without adventure. In addition to this, engage yourself in new activities, maybe ones that you never considered before; you really might surprise yourself of how much you enjoy what you try. And even if you don't enjoy what you try, it will teach you more about who you are and will lead you into the right direction--self-discovery and discovery itself. If you need more suggestions/advice, please message me.

Posted at 3:31 pm on July 6, 2010

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