I really feel like I'm lost with college and choosing a career - everything turned out the way I didn't expect or want it to. I was rejected from my program of choice (musical theatre) and waitlisted at my top choice university (if they accept me, I'm supposed to hear from them this week, but the week is quickly dying). The other universities that I was accepted too were a lot of money for both an undeclared program and an experience that i wasn't entirely set on and now I'm stuck going to a commuter school and living at home while I watch my friends go off to their new schools in various states across the country while I sit here and realize that nothing exciting is happening for me. I'm not excited about my new school. I'm just not. But I wanted a new beginning like I hell. I wanted something new to look forward to - a new environment, a new beginning. Living off on my own. And I don't have it.

Rejection from this program has caused me to question whether or not I can truly succeed at it and whether or not another try is really worth it. I've already wasted precious time and precious money for something that was a long-shot in the first place and it would take a lot more of that to try again. I'm running out of time to try. I'm being told that I need to get serious and do some soul-searching and figure out what I want to do but I honestly have no clue. I feel like performing is what I want but its not possible because of too many obstacles and that maybe its not practical for me. I'm not a dancer - I  never have been and the fact that I'm not a dancer lost me a spot in the program at my top choice school. I love the singing and the acting but the dancing is not something I want and it just isn't possible to be without it in this career. I've looked at other careers, looked at other possible opportunities... but I just don't know if they're worth it. If I really want them.

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of how this will turn out. I don't know where to turn. If you feel can help, please do so. My friends at home don't seem to know what i should do, either, and I think they're sick of hearing me complain.

-------
and then I crashed into you
and I went up in FLAMES..

It sounds like there are a lot of things changing in your life right now.

When making decisions like this, there are 2 things to consider, what you like, and what you are good at.

make a list of everything you enoy doing.

Make a list of everything you are good at, regardless of whether or not you enjoy doing it.

What are the things that are on both lists?

-------
Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money
come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and
without cost.-Isaiah 55:1
www.wateringmalawi.com