tigger

i'm shakking as i write this. i had a really rough night last night... i almost  took 8 tyleonl that were 500mg each and then cut badly...... i reisted and only took 4 pills and no cuts but i'm still very shaken i wanted it so bad i wanted to feel something i undstand and could handle i wanted to hurt myslef cuse i wsa being bad  the only thing that got me outof it was taling for a good 2 hours on a sel;f help site.

what would have happend if i followed thru with that? i'm so scared i don;t know what to do. i could have died i'm not ready yey i'm down yes but not that down. and these stiupd mood siwngs up and down upw and down i don;t know how mcuh more i can take. it could be form not taking my prozac but i don;t know i have beem off of it for2 weeks now. i have my reaosn for not taking it... buit my cutting has picked back up i cut tuesday and before that was last friday and before that was wensday . i'm falling apart and i'm scared.......... my ed is gettin gworse i feel so bad when i eat and i gots to get rid of it or cut. most days i don;t get rid of it but i ahve come closer and closer. i think just once won;t hurt anything but my mind that is smart says that is a lie. i'm just so lost and no clue waht to do

school starts soon i'm so worried what if i'm not cut out to be ok> what if i can;t handle the stress... help me please?

end

anyway i need help decideing on if i should go back on my med to see if it is me being off of it causeing the mood swings. i'm cared and confused please help .....

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is life a gift?